Thursday, February 15, 2007

IIM Lucknow

Disaster Venue: Monarch Hotel, Bangalore (Panel 3) 10:00 am on 15th Feb 2007.


"In business, the rear view mirror is more clear than the windshield. "

10 minutes for writing an essay and 15 minutes for blah-blah-blah...


Characters - A female prof (F), a male prof (M) and B, the Bakra (Me!).

F: Vivek what were you doing from 2001 to 2002?
B: Mam I was preparing for IIT-JEE.
F: And then you joined Electronics at Indian School of Mines, Dhanabd...
B: Yes mam. The admissions at ISM Dhanbad are through IIT-JEE.
F: What do you do at IBM?
B: Mam I am working in the AT&T Project. It is a big project going on for past 10 years and the major amount of work these days...
F: I asked what do you do?
B: I am working on the Universal Service Request Platform of AT&T which are used by its end-users for ordering various applications. It is a Java based application and I am a part of the testing team. In addition to this, I have recently got an additional responsibility of handling production issues. They are delicate issues arising at the time of production.

F: Where do you come from?
B: I have been brought up at Jamshedpur.
F: Tell me something about business developments in Jharkhand in past one year.
B: (Blank-face-speaking-with-efforts..) Over the years, the state has been trying to attract investments. The Arjun Munda government earlier...
F: I am not talking about politics. You are here for a business course. Tell me about the business developments. (Whom-are-you-trying-to-fool-looks)
B: Mam I don't think that the state has progressed much in those terms. The Tatas are there in Jharkhand but they too are expanding mostly outside Jharkhand.
F: There is a global player trying to enter in the state...
B: (Blank-face)
F: Have you heard about Mittals?
B: (Sensing-trouble-enroute) Yes mam. They are trying to set up a plant in Jharkhand.
F: What plant?
B: Mam I am not updated about the issue.
F: You are from ISM. Are you interested in mines?
B: Yes. (Anticipating-a-disaster-look)
F: Have you heard of the place called Chiriya?
B: Yes mam. Chiriya is a mine in Jharkhand. (I-don't-know-look)
F: They are trying to tap that and the state is going to become very rich... (dekh-dekh-tujhe-nahin-pata-looks)
B: (Accepted-defeat-looks)
F: What are the roadblocks they are facing in Chiriya?
B: Mostly political. The mindset of the politicians and the issue of jobs-to-locals....
F: Apart from political? (I-am-not-going-to-leave-u-easily)
B: Mam I don't have an idea.

F: What do you think you would learn in management.
B: Firstly, it would give me an opportunity to diversify my portfolio. I can look towards other sector apart from the IT sector in which I currently am.
F: What other sectors are you looking forward to? (Aaya-pahaad-ke-neeche)
B: I would say the services sector. IBM is much into it. Apart from all this, a management course would help in enhancing my leadership and teamworking abilities...
F: So you think you don't have leadership or teamworking skills right now?
B: I do have, but there is always a scope of improvement in anything. Besides, I would also learn about business, the knowledge of which I lack.

M: Show me your documents.
B: (Handing-over-the-file-with-a-forced-smile)
M: And what are those other things you are carrying?
B: Sir it contains my experience letter and other documents.
M: So? Don't you have to show that to us? (How-dare-he-looks)
B: Sure sir.
M: And where are the other documents? Doesn't your call letter says you need to produce other things? What will I do with these certificates of volleyball and other stuff? They don't mean anything for me. (Hands me the call letter and says "Read what are the documents required." Abhi-bataata-hoon-tujhe-looks)
B: The interview call letter...
M: Yes this is the call letter... next...
B: CAT Admit Card.
M: Where is it?
B: (I take that out from the envelope.)
M: Next.
B: Original marksheets/certificates of examinations passed.
M: Where are they? You have kept it with you! Why, you don't want to show them to us? (Chataak-chataak)
B: Sir I had kept them separately because the file I have given you contains only the certificates. I have kept all other documents in this envelope.
M: I am not bothered about your certificates.
B: Sorry sir. Its my mistake.
M: (I-will-kill-you-looks. Flips through my grade sheets.) What did you read in Managerial Economics?
B: Supply and demand... (haklaate-haklaate..)
M: What was the managerial aspect of economics in this paper?
B: Sir I don't think it had specific orientation as such towards management. It was more of...
M: Tell me a scenario when the demand is inelastic.
B: (Daya-karo-looks...)
M: That means you haven't read this paper.
B: (More-daya-karo-looks...)
M: What is Control Engineering?
B: Sir Instrumentation and Control...
M: I am asking about Control. Tell me only about that.
B: Sir it deals with process control...
M: How do you control a process?
B: Sir a process is represented by a state matrix. Input equation is then formed and output is predicted....
M: Digital Communication... hmmm.... What are the two types of digital communication?
B: Sir digital communication is done in many ways like Pulse code modulation, PSK, FSK...
M: There are two broad classifications of digital communication. I am asking about those two.
B: Sir communication can be classified as analog and digital communication. But digital comm..

M: That's what I wanted to know. Vivek you have this beautiful certificate (most-sarcastic-possible-looks) of something called the 9th International Youth Leadership Conference. What was this about?
B: Sir the conference focussed on...
M: What is leadership?
B: Sir leadership is not only about making people follow you. Its more about excellent teamwork. How you can make people believe in you and your ideas and make them generate newer and newer ideas...
M: Tell me five business leaders.
B: N.R. Narayanmoorthy, Azim Premzi, (thinking thinking...) Ratan Tata...
M: Why do you think Ratan Tata is a leader?
B: Sir the aggressive expansion which he is doing for the company, for eg. the acquisition of Corus and new plants for Tata Motors. Secondly, the corporate social responsibility which the Tatas carry...
M: What do you know about Tata-Corus deal? What are the salient features of that deal?
B: Sir the Tatas have acquired Corus at six hundred and eight..een... (nervous!!) pence a share..
M: 608 or 618? (Sahi-bole-to-noch-khaaoonga-looks)
B: Sir 618 pence a share. (Dumbo!! I knew the correct figure and yet messed that up!)
M: And?
B: The acquisition was hyped in the media because of the entry of a third player CSN which...

M: If Vivek had to emulate one personality, who would he/she be?
B: Sir it is difficult to find one person who has all the qualities which I look forward to...
M: Have you read about the Mahabharata?
B: Yes..
M: What happened to Draupadi? She wanted different-different qualities in different-different people and what did she end up with? (Five-husbands! Ab-bolo! I-am-here-to-rag-you-looks!!)
B: Sir if you are specifically asking for one name, I would say N.R. Narayanmoorthy of Infosys.
M: Why?
B: Sir the very basic tagline of Infosys, driven by intellect...
M: What?
B: Sir the middle-class values which have led to..
M: What values are called middle-class?
B: Sir I am talking about the priniciples on which Mr. Murthy has build up the organization. Honesty and hard-work...
M: Do you know about the background of Mr. Moorthy? When was Infosys started? The fifty's?
B: Sir a group of five software professionals came together and...
M: Five?
B: I think so.
M: Were they freshers or were they working somewhere?
B: Sir I think they were working.
M: Where? (I-know-you-don't-know-looks)
B: Apple... (question-mark-looks)
M: Are you asking me or are you giving an answer?
B: Sir I am trying to answer...
M: Ok thank you very much Vivek you can go.

Disaster ends!!!


Anonymous said...

bahut mari hai bhai....muhje to daar lag raha hai....anyways...agle bhar se certificates chupane ki koshish bilkul maat karna.....

Anonymous said...

oi baat nahin dear....lucknow...kisse lenaa hai saalon ko pel ke aana tha...indore baake hai naa...saara gusaa usme nikalana....but not in cool for of luck..!!

Anonymous said...

anyways ye saab to chote chote hai...aim for the big ones...i hope we meet at A...all the best and Best of luck....if this two come tgether then their is no turning back

Anonymous said...

this is the one of the most useful post i ever read...eye-opening, and i must add terrifying...tyhank u for putting your experience of the ultimate interview...

HouseThat said...

wow yaar...thanks for the efforts you put up for sharing such an intriguing experience of yours with the IIM Lucknow folks......

Anonymous said...

sahi hai beta aise hi lage raho.accha laga.

Anonymous said...

oh felt like the nervous energies got intensively to the brain..
but there was no let off and it felt like they were raging u ...but clearly a great picture of whats in store for the aspirants...
gr8 job that u described the situation so beautifully